It’s very common for women to feel imperfect. We only see our flaws and we ignore our true beauty. It’s easy to let ourselves fall into the trap of thinking we will love ourselves more if we lost 10 pounds; we’d love ourselves more if we had a thigh gap; we’d love ourselves more if our arms were thinner, stomach was flatter, butt was firmer. I could go on and on.
Here’s the problem with that way of thinking. It doesn’t stop.
You will never find confidence, happiness, contentment and self-esteem through losing pounds and shedding inches. When you do lose that first 10 pounds, you may feel great at first, but it won’t last. This is a temporary satisfaction that fades as soon as you find another flaw in yourself. It is easy to slip into believing that 10 pounds wasn’t enough, that you’re still “fat” and need to lose more. Suddenly 20 pounds doesn’t make you feel beautiful either. You stare in the mirror and think maybe 30 will be enough. But what is enough?
You need to find happiness and confidence in something else. For me, I find my confidence through religion. I know that Jesus is the only one who can fill my voids, make me whole, and love me relentlessly. I know that my body is His temple and He commands me to take care of it. He gives me strength to fight challenges and overcome fear and self loathing. He gives me confidence and reassurance that I am enough, just the way my body is.
God created all of the beautiful things in this world. He created sunsets with their ever-changing hues, rainbows, cute and cuddly kittens, every exotic and gorgeous flower, the soft skin of a baby, all of the stars in the sky and galaxies beyond our imaginations.
And He created you.
There are other ways to help gain your self confidence and to help see your body in a more positive way, too. Nothing will fill the void you feel like Jesus can, but these things will help you along the way.
1. Take up a new hobby or take lessons to learn a new skill.
2. Get creative, paint, write poetry, make scrapbooks, etc.
3. Give back, volunteer, help others
4. If you enjoy cooking or baking, work on making well balanced meals from scratch, try new recipes.
5. Make a positivity jar or diary filled with positive things, your favorite quotes and scriptures, uplifting and encouraging words that you can read when you’re feeling down.
6. Get the right amount of sleep (8-10 hours) and get a little sun each day. Sunlight actually gives you mood-boosting endorphins.
7. Care for a pet, or plant a garden of flowers and fruits and vegetables.
8. Do all of the errands you’ve been procrastinating on. Clean your house. Feeling a sense of accomplishment is rewarding.
9. Read books on confidence, take time to relax and pamper yourself, treat your body to a nice bath, pedicure or massage if you’re feeling comfortable enough for it.
10. Don’t over-exercise. Take up a mind-body exercise like yoga or tai chi. A 10 minute walk gives your body 2 hours of energy and feel-good endorphins. Over exerting yourself has the opposite effect and will leave you feeling tired and down.
I hope that these tips can help you to realize that self confidence does not come from being super-skinny, but it comes from having a healthy mind and attitude.
Lots of love,